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    Clear Signs That Indicate The End Of A Relationship

    Several experts determine what behaviors they observe in consultation to know if love has long since ended.

    'Relationship' - Image Credits: Flickr Under Creative Common Licence

    Love seems to have become an object of consumption to use and throw away. Tinder has caused that, given so many offers; it costs to bet on someone in the long term because there always seems to be more to choose from.

    We are afraid to hold on to a person, but the reality is that we are still much more afraid of letting go. Taking the step of leaving a relationship remains complex no matter how much we think that Tinder is waiting for us on the other side.

    Or, perhaps, precisely for that. The coach Raquel Gargallo notes that, generally, it costs assumes is that the relationship has fulfilled its role in our lives and we must find another way of relating between the two.

    This is due to another fundamental issue, that we do not accept that life, relationships and feelings are flexible, evolve, change and we must take care of them, but above all we do not accept that it is possible that the way in which they love us and we love each other.

    Taking into account that these are realities that are hard to see, usually the moment to break a relationship does not come because, but after a turning point. On this issue, the psychologist Zoraida Granados  adds that this reflection comes in special circumstances, not in the middle of the routine, but when the other person is required, not only as a couple; if not as a partner, friend or support, and we realize that nothing is what it was anymore.

    Those moments of realization may be more or less conscious or be ignored. And they produce a sense of unreality, fear and frustration.

    But are there really clear signs that announce that it is time to definitely leave the relationship? Maybe there is still hope for love? Both experts analyze some key signals that make distinguish in therapy those couples who only need to work their problems, from those who, perhaps, should learn to say goodbye with a love you.

    Mutual trust has been lost

    This is one of the main symptoms of couples coming and we can perceive that they may be totally broken, without going back. It is not always the case but it is a determining factor, Gargallo insists.  The confidence in the other gives us a security to grow, be and form a team, and if it breaks it is difficult to restore it, less for ourselves.

    While the first thing that comes to mind is a possible infidelity, the truth is that there are many other reasons to lose mutual trust. There are couples who are able to restore confidence after a hoax; it all really depends on each person.

    There are no signs of complicity

    It is difficult to define what makes up a couple, but one of the concepts that could be approached is that of two people who have a special complicity. If this is no longer perceived, of course, everything points badly.

    Thus, Granados reflects that in consultation he usually looks at how they are located, they sit in the armchairs, the closeness, if they approach, touch, support, encourage to speak or express their partner, respect the turns of words, or they monopolize them, or quite the opposite. When they look like two people outside those gestures, which previously defined them, it means that they have long taken separate paths.

    It has entered into a toxic dynamic

    People usually talk about toxic people, but many times the problem is not the person itself, but the toxic dynamic in which two people seem to get lost and who sometimes do not know how to get out, to stop hurting each other. Sometimes it is a matter of aggressiveness, others of disrespect, but they can also be code-pendencies or roles that end up destroying the couple.

    Many people believe and normalize this way of being treated, in fact, they come to the sessions that it doesn't matter, and they don't realize the damage they are doing. There are no limits on them and they constantly lose the opportunity to rebuild their relationship, Gargallo argues.

    One of the two (or both) does not want to change

    Everyone evolves and changes unconsciously, but there are other changes that require recognition, work and effort, and not everyone is willing to do that. In this sense, Zoraida Granados explains that cases are common in which one of the two, or both, argue that the one that has to change is he / she, I am well or I do not have a problem.

    In this regard he clarifies that little can be done, if one of the two does not want to understand that the couple, to be called as such, must be formed by two people and both must have the same responsibility, effort, dedication and care in that commitment.

    You no longer have the same life plans

    It may be that knowing the two of us dreamed of going to live in Paris or having four children in a cottage. But over time the perspectives of life change and may no longer match. And giving up our dreams would be a great weight in the long term.

    The possibility that we may not want the same is so scary, that people prefer not to look, keep walking and have anchors to keep or stay with the person next door, with children, with commitments, with mortgages, insists Gargallo , which advises that it is better to be honest with yourself and the other person before repenting forever.

    Love is over

    Finally, although one is determined to work hard on the relationship and put on its side, we are not always owners of one's own feelings, much less those of others. Therefore, it is sometimes as simple as love is over, at least, for one of the parties. And these goodbyes are the ones that cost the most, because there is always the love and fear of hurting.

    There are many people who try everything before assuming that they do not want the person in the same way as when they decided to choose him to live with him, to marry.

    This makes them lie to themselves and the other person, being unhappy and trying to escape in other aspects, always being with other people, working 24 hours a day, running away whenever it is possible to be with the couple, and so on.

    If this is your case, according to Gargallo, Maybe it's time to stop hiding and take the plunge. And it is that whenever a door is closed, a window opens, to remind us that there is always time to fall in love again.

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